The sun passed
noon as Sarah sat lost in the memory. A
wind blew up around her, and for a moment, Sarah imagined she could feel the
ghost of an embrace and the memory of whispered words. She remembered William on their wedding
day. After they kissed, he had picked
her up and spun her around, right there in the church, his face radiating pure
joy.
Sarah smiled at
the happy memory. “Thank you, William,”
she whispered. “I will always love you.”
As she was
leaving, she stopped at her father's headstone.
“I am sorry you will not be there, Papa, even though I'm not your little
girl anymore. I wish you were still here
to lead me down the aisle once more. You
would have gotten on well with Jacob. He's
like you. I wish...” She paused, then walked on without
finishing. What did she wish? That the fire had never happened, and William
had not left her? Yes. But...then she would never have met Jacob,
and she loved him, too. Even wishing
wasn't easy.
On her way down
the hill, she met Jacob, coming to look for her. He bowed in greeting and offered his arm,
steadying her so she wouldn't trip. They
walked awhile without speaking. Sarah
felt her thoughts slip from William to Jacob.
She was getting married tomorrow.
It seemed so strange to think of it.
When they reached
the winding lane at the foot of the hill, Jacob spoke. “Did you tell William?” he asked.
“Yes,” Sarah
said. That was one of the things she
loved about Jacob. He didn't mind that
he was second, that she had loved and married another before him. He understood her need to mourn their wedding
day as no one else could have.”
“Mrs. Whemper was
telling Mrs. Garner that it's a complete scandal,” Jacob said conversationally
after another empty minute. “Especially
the part where I'm moving to your house.”
Sarah
shrugged. She had good farmland, and
Jacob was renting a room. It made sense
this way. “She thinks it a scandal that
you've only been here three months, practically a stranger, and were
engaged. She thinks it's a scandal that
I'm getting married at all, so soon after 'that tragic incident'. But last year was saying that I had no right
to continue mourning, and that it was high time I remarried. Other peoples' business is her hobby,
especially now with her daughter grown and moved away.”
Jacob nodded. “I can't decide whether to dislike her or
pity her that she has no friends.”
“Oh Jacob,” Sarah
sighed, “only you would be good enough to like someone who's as impossible as
she.”
“Nobody's truly
impossible,” he said. “Only very
difficult. I think Julia would have
loved it here,” he said, changing the subject.
Jacob's sister and
only family, Julia, had died in Nebraska.
Today, they were both mourning for their lost loves who could not share
their happiness.
“I wish I could
have met her,” Sarah said.
“I do too,” Jacob
said. “She would have made you
laugh. She had a laugh that made the
whole world want to laugh with her.”
Jacob sighed. “And Julia always
wanted to have a sister.”
They were each
quiet then, remembering yesterdays, and wondering what tomorrow would bring.
Later that
afternoon, Jacob walked Sarah home. He
kissed her hand as he turned to leave.
“I love you,
Jacob,” Sarah said, and was glad that at that moment, she felt no remorse for
what might have been.
“And I love you,
Sarah. And tomorrow will be the happiest
day of my life.”
No comments:
Post a Comment